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My Dick Don't Work
Artist: kazmeller ft. jxsmine

This has absolutely no right going off as hard as it does

can my body stop making noises id appreciate some fucking silence without my stomach being loud as shit

this is me when i blow my load and it starts making the squeaking noise

thank you for your input the world is full of wonder

NOSE I MEANT NOSE. I BLOW MY NOSE AND IT MAKES WEIRD NOISES

i dont smoke cigarettes but they should let me have a smoke break where i burn stuff behind the restaurant

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i want my food ONLY prepared by this man

OK this question has been bugging me all morning so y'all please let me know

did your childhood vomit bowl also double as a popcorn bowl?

Yes

No

Vomit bowl??? (see results)

bc ours did nd I never thought much of it as a kid but know I'm thinking about it and it feels kinda gross? so pls tell me if this experience was universal or not it will haunt me forever otherwise

what do you MEAN 40% of you fuckers didnt have a vomit bowl did you just obliterate your carpet when your stomach flu having ass woke up suddenly at 3am and needed to hurl IMMEDIATELY? did y'all just never ever get stomach bugs growing up??

The 2024 republican primary is gonna be buck wild.

De Santis: "Hello median American voter, the only thing I have for you is transphobia."

Trump: "Ron De-sanctamonius you're little pudding fingers boy."

Biden: "Back in Scranton we used to make a thing called Dirt Nachos."

Why is Biden in the Republican primary

Because the DNC is already saying they're not having a primary and Biden felt left out

The Department of Fisheries in Hyderabad, India, is shaped like a fish.

I hope that one day this building takes off like a plane with no warning

I hope that one day

this building takes off like a

plane with no warning

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette

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then its literally not you girl

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this tweet hasn't left my mind once in the two years since it's been posted

being androgynous is easy as hell and everyone can do it. Theres more to androgyny than being a skinny white howls-moving-castle ass femme. Grow a beard and some D cups. Shave your head, gain 60 lbs of muscle and voice train to sound like fluttershy. Cis people really wont know what fucking gender you are then

the thing is gir from invader zim was right and perfect. on a fundamental level. Everyone wants to laugh but the 00s scene had that pinned 100% correctly. gir is everything

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this is literally peak performance. sorry if you disagree. i can’t help you

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one thing i love abt txf is occasionally they do bullshit like this and then never mention it again. they just move on like it didn’t happen. msr basically say they love each other every season and they’re just like “lol anyway”

the little coffee you get while out doing errands should be free for girls